I am fortunate to be pretty good with words and language, in general.  Writing a letter, song, poem and even an article like this one, comes fairly quickly and naturally to me. Having various innate verbal-linguistic skills has served me well in school, work, and even relationships (who doesn’t like to receive a hand-written poem?!) For whatever reason, I have also always gravitated towards all things music.  I learned to play guitar at a young age, enjoy singing and drumming, have written dozens of songs and LOVE to listen to music of all kinds. Indeed my I-tunes library contains reggae, country, punk, classic rock, electronic, hip-hop, and a plethora of traditional music from countries all over the world. (There’s even a little heavy metal and gospel for the right moments!)

But my drawing skills? Well, I really stink at drawing. It doesn’t come easily to me, and unless I am receiving step-by-step instructions, the final product of my artistic endeavors is pitiful. Even the drawings that result from step-by-step instructions aren’t impressive! Further, math and chemistry were a horrendous struggle during high school, with me barely making it through both those subjects, and only with the help of a tutor.  Likewise, my ability to shape something out of clay? or to do any real kind of 3D art? My skill with both these mediums is truly at a very low level! 

Yet, I find myself to be very comfortable with each of my admissions above. None of them keep me up at night. I know that I am good at some things, mediocre at others and a downright hot mess in other areas (see “drawing” above, for example.)  Fortunately my parents always celebrated my successes when and where they occurred, and encouraged and supported my efforts in anything else I did regardless of the outcome.  

My mom and dad seemed to understand that it was “the effort, not the outcome, that mattered” and that “no one is good at EVERYthing”. As an educator having 26 years of experience working with elementary school-aged students, I am seeing fewer realistic expectations for student outcomes from parents. Instead, I see increased pressure from parents for their kids to receive “A’'s in all subjects, get the lead role in the class play, and “make” the All Star team in their chosen sport.  Oh, they should also love and be good at music, art, and drama. The result of these collective pressures to be good at everything is not just impractical, it also heightens a student’s stress and anxiety. Further, when children don’t perform at high levels across the board, more parents tend to blame the teacher, coach or program, or begin to worry if their child has some diagnosable learning disability or attentional deficit.

A child psychiatrist that I recently spoke with regarding the number of children he is seeing with suspected ADD/ADHD told me that “oftentimes when a child is not receiving good grades in a certain subject area, said child is brought in to be assessed for ‘problems with attention’. Many of these kids have no real issues with attention, but instead are simply not as strong in the artistic, and/or academic disciplines as expected of them by their parents.” Social media and the internet has not helped this trend. On Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and other common social media platforms, people post pictures and stories of themselves looking beautiful, winning championships, achieving academic excellence and ultimately living some dreamy life characterized by countless examples of success and accomplishments. Typically left out of these shiny, personal narratives are the failures, struggles, hard days, scrapes, bruises, pimples, warts, leg and back aches that are inevitable (and essential for developing grit) parts of everyone’s existence. Social media perpetuates the mistaken need to “keep up with the Jones’”, in either how we view ourselves or what we expect from our children. Of course most of these projected feelings are in our subconscious, but they nonetheless can take hold if we are not mindful.

Here at Warren-Walker School, we believe that the American Developmental Psychologist, Howard Gardner, got it right with his “Theory of Multiple Intelligences”. In short, this theory’s premise states that human intelligence is not based upon, or can be defined by, a single definition of intelligence, but instead is differentiated into specific and varied intelligences. Each and every one of our students has strengths and challenges as it relates to the different intelligences defined by Gardner. These multiple intelligences are summarized below.

Gardner’s Multiple Intelligences Summarized

1. Verbal-linguistic intelligence (well-developed verbal skills and sensitivity to the sounds, meanings and rhythms of words)

2. Logical-mathematical intelligence (ability to think conceptually and abstractly, and the capacity to discern logical and numerical patterns)

3. Spatial-visual intelligence (capacity to think in images and pictures, to visualize accurately and abstractly)

4. Bodily-kinesthetic intelligence (ability to control one’s body movements and to handle objects skillfully)

5. Musical intelligences (ability to produce and appreciate rhythm, pitch and timber)

6. Interpersonal intelligence (capacity to detect and respond appropriately to the moods, motivations and desires of others)

7. Intrapersonal intelligence (capacity to be self-aware and in tune with inner feelings, values, beliefs and thinking processes)

8. Naturalist intelligence (ability to recognize and categorize plants, animals and other objects in nature)

9. Existential intelligence (sensitivity and capacity to tackle deep questions about human existence such as, “What is the meaning of life? Why do we die? How did we get here?”)

As a community of parents and educators, it is my hope that we can help guide our students to become “Respectful and Responsible Citizens, Successful Scholars, and Self-Directed and Independent Thinkers” (WWS Schoolwide Learner Outcomes) by ferreting out and developing what our children are naturally good at and passionate about, while of course, developing and working on their areas of challenge. If we do this, and celebrate the process and not so much the product, we will better guide our students into creating the best versions of themselves while helping keep their school-anxiety at a minimum and instilling in them a love of learning.                                                     

- Kris Iacono, Head of Lower School